Over the last few years, I’ve worked on letting myself feel some of those emotions I would hide from. Burying and denying emotions because they hurt does not make you stronger and it’s actually unhealthy. It takes courage to sit with discomfort- whether it be emotional or physical and sometimes and emotion is both. This is a really negative and untrue view of crying, layered with all kinds of baggage and unfair judgements. I still cringe when I know thousands and people have watched it. Posting a video of myself crying and then later using it in my TED Talk was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. It doesn’t feel good to me and it makes me feel weak. Being Brave is Not Burying Your Emotions, It’s Sitting With Them Does it feel tight? Breathing long slow breaths can help too. Another thing is that when you feel some fear and are moving forward anyway, it’s paying attention to how your body feels. Simply considering what the worst case will be might help you overcome your fear. Minor injury? Embarrassment or shame if I fail? Wasted time? Simply not being able to do it?” Often the fear of the thing preventing us from being brave is way worse than if it actually were to happen in real life. A whole other topic of discussion would be where is the line between bravery and dangerous risk? How can you be more brave and do something you’re afraid of? Personally, it’s been considering my outcomes and asking myself what the worst-case scenario would be. It’s not saying “I’m brave” and putting yourself needlessly into a dangerous situation. Now this doesn’t mean doing something irrational like saying “I’m brave” and then walking out into traffic. It’s feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Being brave is “to have courage” and courage is “the ability to do something that frightens one” or “strength in the face of pain or grief.” Being Brave is Not the Absence of Fear If you go to the dictionary, bravery and courage go hand in hand. What are some elements of bravery tucked under the overarching theme of a “willingness to be vulnerable”? Matt felt uncomfortable and did it anyway. He had to get up in front of the class and say something in Japanese and was afraid he would look stupid, but he realized he had a choice and did it anyway. This is what Matt’s story was: he was in grade 9 wanting to take Japanese, but Japanese was with all the upperclassmen that he looked up to. I think this is an important discussion, but I need to move on to what I think it means to be brave.įirst, try to think of the first time in your life when either someone told you to be brave or you realized you did something that made you brave. I can only imagine what it must feel like for some men. Continuing with my digression for another moment, I still hate comments about women being emotional, or “crying like a woman.” I AM a woman and I struggle with some of my emotions. Oh how wrong I was about that! It’s a complex topic for another Crush It Monday. I remember even from a young age wanting to be viewed as masculine instead of feminine because I used to think masculinity was akin to strength and bravery. Perhaps my view of bravery initially came from men. Men, especially the older generation feel pressure not to show or feel vulnerable emotions. This discussion could get complicated really quickly if we bring in things like masculinity. Bravery means actually letting yourself feel those emotions without letting them defeat you or change your path. To be honest, trying to avoid feeling and showing difficult emotions has been one of the harder parts of bravery for me. Do Epic Shit.” I have put a lot of thought into what it means to me to be brave. One of my favorite taglines I made up for my own life is “Be Brave. This is where I think the definition of bravery starts to diverge from what it actually means. But I’ve seen portraits of bravery show up as someone who appears stoic and doesn’t show vulnerability or cry. In cartoons, the hero or heroine is often characterized as someone who is brave- someone who will go into battle knowing that the consequences could be dire. For most, it usually has something to do with having to get a shot at the doctor or getting an injury of some kind and then an adult telling us to be brave. The first memories I have of someone using the word brave is when I was a little kid. Being brave is not about the absence of fear, it’s about having the courage to be vulnerable – to press on in spite of fear.
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